So Bad It’s Good: The Best Bad Poetry Competition Is Calling Your Name!
Hey fellow word-wranglers! You know those poems you write at 3 AM that make you cringe in the morning light? The ones with rhymes so forced they practically squeak? Well, dust those babies off because I just found the PERFECT home for them!
The Art of Being Artfully Awful
The Best Bad Poetry Competition is now accepting entries, and it’s exactly what it sounds like—a celebration of gloriously terrible verse. This isn’t about just writing something bad (we can all do that accidentally). No, this is about crafting something so deliberately, meticulously awful that it circles back around to brilliant.
They’re looking for poems that feature:
- Rhymes that make you groan out loud
- Metaphors clunkier than my first car
- Descriptions that leave readers scratching their heads
- Subject matter that has no business being in poetry
All inspired by William McGonagall, widely considered the worst poet in Scottish history. (Google him—his work is a masterclass in how not to write poetry, and it’s FASCINATING.)
What’s In It For You?
Besides the joy of embracing your inner terrible poet? Cold, hard cash! The winner gets £100 and—wait for it—a plate of peas. Yes, actual peas. Second and third place get smaller plates of peas. I’m not making this up.
Runners-up get to read their masterpieces at the McGonagall Night event on April 20, 2025, at the Beehive Inn in Edinburgh (plus two free tickets to the event).
The Important Dates
- Submit by: April 10, 2025 (midnight)
- Runners-up notified: April 12, 2025
- Grand finale/winner announcement: April 20, 2025
The Rules (Such As They Are)
The beauty of this contest is its simplicity:
- Enter as many times as you want
- Previously published poems? No problem!
- Submitting the same poem elsewhere? Also fine!
And here’s the kicker—you don’t even have to let them publish your winning poem if you don’t want to. They’ll ask, but you can say no. How’s that for low pressure?
Next Steps
Ready to unleash your inner terrible poet? Here’s how:
- Think of the most ridiculous topic possible
- Write with complete disregard for rhythm and meter
- Throw in rhymes that make absolutely no sense
- Fill out the entry form with your masterpiece
- Hit send and wait for the judges to either laugh or cry (either reaction is good!)
Just visit the competition page and look for the entry form at the bottom. Fill in your name, email, a short bio (50 words max), and paste in your poetic disaster.
Go on, embrace the awful! After all, being deliberately bad takes a special kind of talent. And who knows? Your literary abomination might just win you £100 and the coveted plate of peas.
P.S. If you’re wondering why peas are part of the prize… I have absolutely no idea, but it makes me love this contest even more.
